Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Chet Newsman here. We're interrupting your regularly scheduled program to bring you this breaking news story. It appears that a panda bear has broken free of communist China to come run 44 flights of stairs at the Springville high school. Eye witnesses claim that the panda was wearing neon pink Vibram's and was listening to David Bowie. Adorable growls of triumph were also heard as the panda reached the top of each flight of stairs. We brought in bear expert, Dr. Barry Pandason to explain this strange behavior. Dr. Pandason, could you tell us, is this normal behavior for pandas?
Well, Chet, first off, let me say thank you for having me on the show. I'm always glad to have a chance to share my vast knowledge of panda bears. A little known fact about pandas is their love of stair running. It's their favorite past time, second only to eating bamboo and sleeping in the sunshine. However, I am surprised to hear the witness's account of the panda's shoes. I was unaware that Vibram's had cornered the niche market of panda footwear. I suppose it had to happen eventually. As for the David Bowie, we have observed pandas in captivity "rocking out", if you will, to Ziggy Stardust and the like.
Thank you Dr. Pandason. You've certainly shed some light on the little known behaviors of the panda. And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
But seriously you guys, I love running the stairs. It's become my favorite thing. And doing it in a panda hat? Best. Workout. Ever.