First, we get to talk about heat stroke and marathon running. It's not as fun as it sounds. (You are all shocked, I'm sure, because it sounds like a friggin' party.)
|It was just like this. Except I'm not a dude. And I never wear shorts.|
When Jamie and I disembarked from the bus at the start line, the sun was already high and hot. We immediately took off our jackets and gloves and began fretting over how much we were going to suffer that day. We weren't the only ones having mild panic attacks as the temperature started climbing. It's good to know that we weren't alone in our freaking out. Jamie's plan was to run like a mad woman down the mountain until the heat stopped her. That was also my plan, and it was not a good plan, ladies and gentlemen.
By the first aid station I was already pouring water all over myself like I was in Flashdance. I was wearing enough bright colored spandex, after all.
|This is an accurate representation. For real.|
|I'll never get over Monte Cristo.|
My trudging friend caught back up with me at about 25.5 miles and we just went the rest of the way together. We didn't dare to try and run until we saw the 26 mile marker. Surely, that .2 miles at the end wouldn't kill us, right? So we take off running, the finish line in sight. And I swear, it just kept getting farther away. My trudge buddy turned into Mr. Speedypants and I was pretty sure I was going to puke, then die, then come back alive just to puke again.
|He's speeding out of the frame. I am just a statue, by comparison.|
|Marathon #13. The race that tried to kill me. But what a great medal, amiright?!|
|Can I get a woo hoo?!|
|Double agents celebrate in style.|
|Now you're all shivering in antici.......pation.|
|We were a millipede; we were amazing.|
Hey, ladies. When you signed up for this, they made it very clear that speed was not a thing we were even going to worry about. We just had to finish. And with 82 people chained together, that was going to take some time. I knew that, and just about everyone else seemed to know that. DID YOU MISS THE MEMO?! By about the half way point, I was gauging the likelihood of being sent to prison if I strangled them each with my length of rope. I could plead insanity, because they were actually driving me insane.
|"See? This is enough rope to murder three people with!"|
I know this is level of vehemence isn't usually found in this blog. But I am still angry with the way these people acted for the ENTIRE day. The worst part is, they are an active part of the local running scene. I have seen them at many other races and I know I will see them again. I do not want to see them again. I may still harbor strangling urges. We'll see.
|Not only a saint, but a diligent photographer.|
Stay tuned for another three race report next week, where I will also probably spend half of the blog freaking out about the Javenlina Jundred coming up on the 31st.